Distance and Relationships

Alright.. continuing on from my last post here.... I ended it talking about how social networking sites work and how it affects friendships or non-friendships or whatever you want to call them. Anyways.....


"Relationships" Okay! NOW we're getting deep. :)  "Online" relationships... and yes I mean the kind that are looking to be more than friends. BAD idea.... period!  The concept of online dating is asking for hurt. I would warn ANYONE away from that or even trying to get to know someone online because a lot of online communication between a guy and girl before meeting can and will result in feelings for each other and can cause a lot of hurt and pain later on... so just don't do it! And actually I'm going to step out and say that "long distance" relationships are a really bad idea also. 

Any sort of long distance relationship is very complicated and must be handled with extreme care. For me I have decided to simply not do it, mostly for the following reason...... It allows feelings to develop between a guy and girl without either family being involved. This is a problem right away. You really do want the family to like you... A relationship cannot be blessed by God unless both parents approve and bless it themselves. The 5th commandment is honor your father and mother and if this commandment is not followed in a relationship there will be problems. Sadly I've seen it proven over and over again. If the parents don't approve then wait until they do... because if it is truly Gods will, he will work things out because he is always the same and is very consistent. The 5th commandment doesn't say to honor your parents sometimes.... it means ALL the time. So, that said...  if you are really wanting to please God in a relationship, get to know the family personally before or while you get the know the girl/guy. It will prevent a lot of hurt and confusion. And yes, I know.... this means excluding long distance relationships but it wasn't meant to be any other way. I think distance was meant to be a gap that physically  separated people in different communities  from each other and that gap has been broken and the more I think about it the more I wish that it was still there.

This next part is mostly for guys but you girls are welcome to read it too! Before ANY of you do read it though I want you to go read this post by Candle No Boys Allowed, if you haven't already. Its very well written and gives a little inside on how girls think and a lot of it applies to guys too!


You should be reading Candles post here ... :)




Don't skip it... go read it! I mean it.. Its well worth it! :P


Okay so hopefully you read Candles post .... So guys! Every Girl you meet wants to marry you, Okay?  Totally kidding there, but seriously to a certain extent you need to treat them like they do and if you don't want to marry them or you aren't sure, its YOUR job to protect their heart and to keep them pure.  Seriously! As a guy, I kinda know... we are clueless but not nearly as bad as we are made out to be. If you see that a girl is liking you as more than just a friend, and I promise you will know if you really care,  and you aren't sure about it and you want to keep being friends and nothing more, there is really only one way to keep it from being nothing more..... cut back. Stop talking so much...  And I know from experience that it won't be a happy time for either of you, but it is the only way that you can keep being friends without someone getting hurt. And I'm not saying that you have to stop talking completely but I do think that a break from talking to someone that you're talking to and thinking about all the time will allow your mind to recover and you will be able to think more clearly about things from the right perspective. Love is very blinding and there IS such a thing as counterfeit love. Search your heart and make sure it is lined up with God and that you are doing what His will is for you and not what your will is for you.

Okay, so that said.... These are just my thoughts on the issue. I'm not saying that I have all the answers but my main point is.. Guys don't underestimate a girls feelings and be sure that you are protecting her for her future spouse... treat her like you would want your future wife to be treated by another guy!

'Know God' ----

Distance - The lost dimension

Okay so I've been thinking a lot lately about relationships and the complications that arise in this day and age. And so that got me thinking about the main factor that affects the way we live now and what makes now different from any other time in history.

Distance - wow! what has happened to the concept of distance?
It now takes just less than 3 days to complete a flight around the world... less than 100 years ago it took months. This world is rapidly shrinking... we are tiny sphere floating around in space ever growing smaller as man is making discovery's into deep space and has developed technology that makes communication with someone half way around the world as easy as clicking a few buttons.

So just to put this onto perspective and how recently the concept of distance has shrunk..... Say this world is just over 6000 yrs old.... its a rough guess... Now lets think back a mere 5% of that(300 yrs). The fastest form of travel on land was a horse and it had been that way for 5,700 years..... thats a LONG time...  Most people never made it out the their county, much less their state or country! People were happy living in one place for their whole life. It was a HUGE world.. so what has happened?

Technology
Technology via car and airplane has made traveling to a different state or even all the way  across the continent a day trip....  so yes that is very different from 300 years ago and that type of technology is a huge factor. But I think the biggest factor that affects us today is the change in the way that we communicate, which has only happened in the last 20-30 years. The internet and the use of personal cell phones was the huge step that made distance and the fact that this world IS actually very large an idea of the past.

So how does all this complicate relationships?  I'll start at what I think is the root of this problem. Its not cell phones, text-messaging, email, or even online chat... its the development of an idea that has been around for maybe 10 or less years....... Its called social networking. *drum roll*
Yes I believe that this is the beginning of the complications that have appeared in online communication.  I honestly believe that cell phones, text-messaging, email, and online chat are really great technology and have really good uses and so does social networking... BUT social networking has a side that has created a huge problem.

How can social networking be bad? Honestly, as most of you know I am on Facebook, Twitter,  and Buzz and I think they are great! The biggest problem I see with sites like facebook is the ability to meet and get to know someone without ever shaking their hand or actually talking to them face to face.

What is a friend... I mean really? Are all those people on your friend list that you haven't met REALLY your friends? Okay so in my opinion... no matter how much you txt, message, chat, phone, or even video chat with someone you can't really call them a true friend until you have met them. I think a true friend is someone that likes you for who you are and likes your personality and the way you talk and walk and act around people and that is absolutely impossible to know without spending time with them in person. People can be and are VERY different online!

So yes that is a problem but its sorta leading up to the biggest problem and the biggest question that a lot of us face.... On a deeper than friends level how does an online long distance relationship work and why is it so hard?  .... or does it work? 

But thats all for tonight.... I have already started my next post and it will be titled "Distance and Relationships" I think you will all want to read it!  Follow me or check back within the next few days... I'm going to try to post soon! :)

Thanks and Goodnight!
Jeremy

Writing late again.... hope there aren't too many mistakes  :)

Life is harrrrd ....

:)
Okay so I went climbing today and I actually learned something from it! :) I learned that I am a complete wimp when it comes to 'life' and I have practically no will power. So let me explain...

I was about 40 ft off the ground on a pretty decent climb(5.9 .. .for those of you who know)  on  a rope of course. It wasn't too hard but I had done a few before it and I was definitely feeling it. Sooooo, I was having to make a traverse, which in this case meant swinging from one hand so I could get my foot over on another hold that I couldn't quite reach and grabbing another hold with the other hand.. Anyways, I was up there on the wall testing that hold I had to swing on. My arm and basically everything in me was saying YOU CAN'T do it.. and I felt like I had no grip all... like if I grabbed that hold my hand would just slip off. BUT I decided to go ahead and try it because it was do that or fail the climb, which would mean starting over to technically complete it.. So, even though every thing it me said: nope the climb is over ... I focused, took the jump and just went for it..... And GUESS WHAT?  I had no problem at all.
Okay it was a little hard but my arm held me there just fine and I didn't put weight on the rope..... I kinda surprised myself..... and so that got me thinking later tonight.

How did I do that? Why did I think I couldn't? I decided that physically we a capable of MUCH more than we think.... and when our mind tells us it is over... we really have only just begun.

How often do we get to a point in life where things are just too hard and God has given us too much and we CAN'T take it anymore and we are asking God... why? It happens... for me anyways. Its tiring to be at that point and the longer you dwell on it the more tired and fearful you'll get, until there is nothing left and you fall.

So my point is... We make life hard on ourselves. When we are complaining or afraid  about challenges that we are facing...  it is because we don't believe in God and because we aren't sure that He is a strong as He is. We are  complete wimps in that way and if we don't step out in faith and a little courage and  believe that God will follow through and that He will strengthen us. Then we will keep standing there and just waiting for the things around us to change to make our position easier.... Ya know what? They aren't gonna.... mostly because all us humans are very much alike in this way.... we are pathetic unmotivated wimps without God. We need to block out the part of us that tells us we can't and not just make our selves think we can but make our selves DO IT! :) I think that "ourself" is our biggest obstacle!

Anyways.... I really hope that all made sense. I'm pretty tired tonight but I had to write this down while I was thinking about it! :)

'Press on'------

Why do you fear?

I've been thinking a lot about "our purpose" and talking to friends and family about it and I was praying this morning and the scripture that came to mind was "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18


And that really hit me because I KNOW that I don't have a perfect love and that IS truly why I fear the things that I do. Fear is an awful thing.... In exception to the fear of God, it is all about us... and the more we dwell on it the worse it gets! If you are all focused on yourself: what people think about you, what you are going to eat, how you look, what people can do to you... and there's much more... but that is fear and if you are living in fear then you cannot truly love anyone... including yourself.

If we are truly  loving how God says to love then we won't have any thoughts for ourself and our love for God and for people around us will hide if not complete dissipated that selfish fear and worry that we all naturally have.

'Love' ---


Feel free to share! :)

Airport security

So in case you don't know, molestation in airports is now okay ... for "government officials" that is..... here's why.

Okay so maybe you're thinking I'm exaggerating a little here but I think not. Full body scans... or if you opt out... a highly physical pat down are now being done in many airports. If that makes you feel like you are being protected...... I'd hate to know what makes you feel threatened.

Our government has overstepped a boundary in air port security to the point that I wouldn't want my sisters or anyone that I care about to fly and honesty, I am worried about you if you don't have a problem with this or if you can simply overlook it. In most major airports and mostly likely coming to minor ones in the near future, full body scans are mandatory by random selection and done by a machine that basically makes you appear to have no cloths on.. enough said about that. If you want more information you can Google it. But if you opt out of the full body scan, they simply humiliate you and put you through and intensive pat down process which is very physically invasive not partial to gender.

And like I said... if you have been flying recently and have NOT been through this it is because they are not yet doing it to everyone. It is done to about 1 out of 20 people that fly.

 That said.... I have never been through it myself,  but I have been hearing my family talk a lot about stories that they've read. There are lots of sources and stories online about this. Please look into it. This  is important  and a huge invasion of privacy and its another thing that would be illegal for anyone but the government.  They are now treating everyone like a criminal? Why are we now guilty until proven innocent?  What is wrong here?

The Solution: Stop flying...  If everyone were to stop flying even for a few days the airport would feel it in a huge way! The only way to stop a messed up system is to stop supporting it... if you protest it and even pass laws against it yet still give it your money, you are enabling them to continue on with their corruption and you will accomplish nothing!

Sadly, I don't see that people have the guts to stand up against this. They will let it slide by like they have done everything else and let the government take away our liberties one by one....

Will you stand for what your think is right and just as importantly stand against what you think is wrong?

Thoughts?

'Stand'----

Why so many questions?

God knows exactly what we need.... What he has planned for us could be beyond our ability to imagine! So lets trust and open our minds. Not to the world and its boxed in perspective of what it thinks to be real and good and not ourselves and what we think we want or need...  but to God and His limitless possibilities and that He  can put us in a place that our little  brains cannot possibly imagine!


So much of our problems and what we call trials are caused by us!  By fear that our lives will go to waste, that we will not accomplish our purpose, we aren't doing enough to accomplish our dreams and goals.... our real fear should be that God might turn us over to our own will.. and in that case we embark on a dangerous path that can end in nothing but failure. This seems to be the story of man kind. Every time we try to take something in to our own hands it turns to dust. 


So lets trust in our limitless, all powerful, all knowing  God and try to wrap our minds around what that means. If we try to limit Him it can only result in our own failure because our God Yahweh cannot be changed or limited by His creation. He IS and only in Him can we find true peace and happiness! :)


'Focus' -----

Hello World!

Okay so this my first post but its not important in the slightest. The rest of them should be very different ... there are NO profound thoughts here.... well besides the url to this blog :) Its actually very profound...

Happy thinking!
Later
Jeremy